My friends and I put on an art show once or twice a year in a car garage located in a long alleyway of garages that stretches the length of one full block, from Coles Street to Jersey Avenue in Jersey City. It's not the ideal place for an art exhibit but over the last 10 plus years we have made it work. The days of the exhibits we hang up signs on the side walls of the buildings at each end of the alley to direct people our way. We have never had an issue so I was caught by surprise this past weekend when a man came walking towards us in a huff saying "no, no, what are you doing?" to which I replied "we are having an art show today". Honestly my immediate response was to be irritated because we'd been doing this for years and then the man says angrily "you never take them down" which made me a little more irritated because I know we always take our signs down. So I had just a few seconds to put thought into it and said in a calm sort of way "we do take them down..." and then I added "we are respectful" with an emphasis on "respectful". To my surprise his demeanor changed because next thing I know he was saying "ok, ok, thank you". I told him that the show would be over at 6pm and then added that the tape I use is the removable kind and he smiled and said "thank you, thank you". I extended an invite to him to come by and tried to lure him by mentioning the spread we had laid out with snacks and wine! He laughed a little and then walked over to us as we were wiring our last sign to a pole near the curb. My friend Joanne, the person who rents the garage, is British and he caught on to her accent and then wanted to be best friends, asking her about where she was from and what brought her to the United States. We talked with him for a few moments and thanked him before going back to the exhibit. I mean it was a perfect picture of winning someone over with kindness and the show of mutual "respect". Sometimes people just want to feel like they are heard and not disregarded.
In a way it seems crazy that being kind in situations actually takes effort because you'd think it should just be the norm but it's not. Kindness does take practice, especially when you are staring down someone huffing down an alleyway or being rude on the train, or cutting you off in traffic. I have to tell you though from
experience, it's just like anything else you do, the more you practice the easier it gets. Being calm and having kindness in your heart when you enter situations, generally makes for a much better outcome and who doesn't want that?!
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