My Life in a Shoe

This is my life in a shoe…

This past week 

I have been walking around with a foreign object in my left shoe.  I know, I know, you are asking yourselves “why not take it out silly woman?”.  It's kind of like my life...somedays I feel the problem and other days it's gone and all seems good only for it to pop up again at the most awkward moments when I don't have time to stop and fix it!  But really you wonder if I must have some inherent need to pain myself unnecessarily?  I am a woman after all, we do have a tendency to put up with things rather than help ourselves!  The object could be my fear of being seen as something I’m not?  Or better yet, maybe I just feel like I deserve it for a bug I killed at some point in my life??  It could have to do with this lazy quality I have at times which means I don’t feel like making any effort whatsoever.  Maybe the object is simply me being lazy?!  Too much effort to remove a shoe dagnabit!  But on the other hand I’ve kinda become like a lot of New Yorkers and can’t be bothered to stop my fast walking pace for anything, I’ve got important places to go…get out of the way you tourists!  So that's it!  The object is a tourist getting in my way of success!  It makes sense but there is also the fact that I'm forgetful as many women are post menopausal and probably also something to do with the hash I smoked in my junior/senior year of high school?!  So the object is my failure to remember how to be an organized, healthy woman!  Of course, none of it being my fault because all my problems can be projected onto this object in my shoe which some days feels like a boulder and other days it's nowhere to be found!  It’s painful, I’m lazy, forgetful, can’t afford to stop, it shows up at the worst time, makes me cringe, I don’t want it but I’m on auto pilot and why won’t it just go away on it’s own because I don't have time?!!!  Ugh!  Sorry for the run on rant!  I need to fix this so I bravely decide to finally stop the stupidity from continuing and I remove my shoe at work!  I grab my Dr. Marten by the rubber bottom and dump my issues out onto the floor!  Aha!  Out rolls the little rascal!  It seems all my problems turn out to be a piece of cat litter!  It makes sense, right?  Something so out of place that I make a big deal about in my head and feels so big but in reality is very small.  Not to mention that I allowed myself to live with it when I could have been comfortable in my own shoes all along.  I'm 52 and still learning!