Today I climbed into my clothes
on auto pilot
unaware of size or color
or flair.
My mind is elsewhere,
slipped into a shadow,
not wanting to take part
in life currently.
i’m just along for the ride.
A passenger
to my mind while at the wheel.
This trip to nowhere
is slow
and the grey scenery is
speckled with blue
as we pass bits of me
that i thought I wouldn't see again.
It’s an awkward, familiar, comfort
like driving by the sign welcoming me
to my home state.
A heart pang
then remembering there was a reason I left.
A nod of the head
with the knowledge
I am only visiting for a short time.
I recline my seat
close my eyes
and don't give a fuck
where my mind takes me today.
10.27.2016
I wrote this poem after arriving at work today. I plopped down at my desk and thought about how I pretty much climbed in my clothes this morning and the next thing I knew I was at work! I was completely on auto pilot! It's a rainy day in the NYC metropolitan area. I've had a cold and still have this awkward abdominal pain with no answer for it. I'm feeling down today, exhausted from being sick, not sleeping well and having to put on a good face like I'm not in pain most of the day. Ugh! I still know so many more people are suffering much worst fates than me so I will only wallow temporarily and do look forward to what tomorrow might bring.
Beth
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