Back to School

photos take by Miguel Cardenas

  Today I headed back to school friends!  It's been over 30 years since I've stepped foot in a high school and today I made my return.  My good friend Miguel helps teach a class of about eight autistic teenagers at the local high school and he asked me if I would come read some of my poetry to them.  They are in the process of learning about poetry and he thought I could give them some good examples of free verse poetry that I have written.  When he first text me my initial reaction was "yes, i'd like to do it" but then after it set in I started to get the fear and the "am i good enough" thoughts running rampant in my head so I almost said no!  I'm really glad I didn't decline because it's important to push yourself sometimes, especially for something like this that isn't about me, it's about them!  I had to get myself up at 6am to get ready and leave the house by 8am.  The high school is only a 5/10 minute walk from my house.  Miguel had to meet me outside of the school to make sure I went through security and got my pass for the morning.  As we were walking in he told me that they had already watched some of my poetry readings and videos that are on youtube which I found very flattering!

We walked into the class and I saw a bunch of friendly faces and I knew it would be okay.  There were three other teachers other than Miguel and the students who sat at these cool desks that are on rollers so they can move around easily.  Miguel introduced me and I sat at the front of the class on a stool.  They called me Miss Beth.  The teacher had the students introduced themselves one by one.  I began by playing them the song "Our Darkness" by Anne Clark. She is a poet/musician that was popular in Europe in the 80's when I went to high school in Germany and her music inspired me to start writing poetry.  I'm not sure if they liked it or not?   I also told them how I started writing when I was a teenager, their age, because I felt depressed quite a bit and it was a way to help me deal with those feelings.

The first poem I read was one I wrote about liking cake called "I like Cake".  Pretty straight forward there!  They liked it and it created a lot of chatter about liking cake!  I knew it would be a good ice breaker...or cake breaker...ha ha!  I ended up reading seven of my poems.  After each one we would field any questions or comments from the students.  One asked if I had any of my depressing poems, which I didn't but I had brought the poem I wrote after my brother passed away so I read that which got me teary and in turn two of the teachers too!  I ended with something I wrote at New Year's which is a pretty positive piece about realizing that you have the power to change your world at any time.  Like when Dorothy finds out she had the power in the ruby slippers all along. (see below)
  After the poems Miguel brought up some of my photographs from the internet on their big screen, which you can see in the pictures below to the right of me.  We then talked art for a few minutes and I told the kids that they shouldn't worry about being good at something in order to try it.  The important thing is to just make the attempt and then see if they like it, from that point it's just practice to get better.  I also told them that the poetry doesn't always have to be good, that it can just be a way for them to get their thoughts and emotions out of their heads.  If they want to write about being mad or sad then do it.  It's not about reading it out loud or showing it to someone, it's for them...not anyone else.

It was an honor for me to share that hour with the students and teachers.  Of course, there is a part of me that hopes I made an impression on someone in the class but if I didn't, that's okay.  It was nice to be invited into their room.












New Year's

A new year.
It's just digits for counting
1.2.3.4
A human measurment of time,
time walking beside you,
time passing you,
time rolling over you
and proceeding into another day 
whether you are willing or not!
It just happens to be a newer number,
different to the day before.
The reality though is that YOU have the goods every moment for a new begining!
Just like Dorothy with those ruby slippers, 
but there is no need to wait until the end of the movie my friends to find yourself
in your happy place!
A fresh start,
going home,
chance of a lifetime are always there in your grasp!
Choices, behavior, solitude,
and guilt hold you back,
but you power that machine that keeps them running.
So have a Happy New Year!
Celebrate your walk with time
but don't forget...
you own the ruby slippers all year long to take you anywhere you want to go!